It’s been awhile since I’ve written anything. And I believe part of the reason was that God stopped speaking to me because I was not seeking Him like I should. A few weeks ago God broke me and I felt renewed and refreshed and had a fire to learn again. I was listening to a sermon from One Community (miss that church so much) Pastor Paul was talking about new years resolutions (it was an older sermon) he named the top ten resolutions Americans make. They were not necessarily bad and not all of them were selfish either. There were the common ones such as weight loss, exercise, spend more time with family, etc. Pastor Paul took all of those a step further by saying that God wants to change us just as much spiritually this year. And it really hit me how true this is. Even though it’s already April, I’m excited to see what new years resolutions God has set for me spiritually and I pray that I have the Spirit to discern His lessons and the wisdom to understand when He is speaking.

It’s the begging of a new year. God was so good to me in 2011. He blessed me so much. So much has changed in the past year. I’ve grown up a lot, learned to work harder, know that I will never plan a wedding again, married my best friend , went to the Bahamas twice, and began my senior year of college. Those were the bigger events, but the smaller events and lessons day to day God has shown me are probably more important than the big ones. As the new year begins I know that there will be many changes starting with moving across the country. One important lesson I am learning is that life will always be changing. I am constantly getting older, people will come and go, heart aches will be present right along with joy. But no matter what happens or what I feel uncomfortable with, God never changes. As the song goes …constant in the trial and the change. I never ever have to be afraid cause one thing remains. Your love never fails it never gives up it never runs out on me. Thank you Jesus for being a stable foundation.

Very stressed but trusting God…have no internet so this blog is no longer an everyday blog until further notice haha

My new favorite hobby is to pray for people when i see them in their car, in a store, or just walking down the street. The other day I was at sheetz and this guy cuts line in front of about 6 people to buy a 12 pack of beer and cigs. He seemed so unhappy. my heart broke for him because there is so much freedom in Christ that he has yet to experience. I just started praying for him and praying that God would send His holy spirit down on him like a fire right then and there. He bought his stuff and as he was walking out the door he gave me a nice long stare. It has now become my prayer that God will fill myself with the holy spirit so much that people can just feel Him when I walk by.

Praying for the kids at camp jacob as well as camp bahamas today. Camp holds a very dear place in my heart. I talked to a friend of mine who worked at camp jacob this year and she said a lot of the kids were asking where i was. Funny because the last time i saw most of them i had just hit my head and was being rushed to the hospital.  It is just good to know that i had a tiny impact on some of their lives in just one week that they would remember me until the next summer. God is so good in giving me the energy to do that for the past 5 or 6 years! I’ve lost count..

Wisdom and discernment are two things that I am praying for more of lately. Reading through Proverbs this month is helping me see the importance of fearing the Lord firstly and seeking his guidance.

What is the armor of God? Is it a cool story the Bible gives us so we can teach little kids to read their Bible and pray? We imagine ourselves as some sort of a superhero fighting for God’s purpose. For many years this is what I took it as, I knew there was more to it than that, but did not live it out. After hearing a sermon preached on the armor of God, the spiritual warfare we are in was brought to my attention. I started praying for discernment between spirits. The next day was a testimony service and some kids came forward to share their story. All of them had different stories and paths that led them to the place they ended up. They all had one thing in common, the demonic force driving them to their depression, thoughts of suicide, drinking, and overall lack of disobedience to God. It was almost as if I could hear the demons talking and hear the lies they used to get them to the place of captivity. I am still praying that God will not let me forget that we ”do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.” Ephesians 6:12 …then verse 13 goes on to say how to protect ourselves during the war and if we don’t we are sure to lose. Ephesians 6:13-17: “Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.”

God don’t let me forget that everyday is a battle.  Help me understand the lies that Satan tells me and thank you for equipping me with the right tools to defeat him. 

While in the Bahamas God really showed himself through nature. There were three moments that I hope I will never forget and purposely writing them here so I never will.

1. I woke up at 5:30, kayaked out to an island across from us, walked around to the back of it to watch the sunrise. With the ocean breeze the temperature was perfect. The smell of salt was in the air. I stood as close to the edge of the coral as I could get without falling in the water and watched the sun rise as if it were coming out of the ocean.

2. I played in the rain for an hour straight. This wasn’t a light drizzle, but a full on downpour for an hour. It was the only time I can honestly say that I was cold there. A huge rainbow was right in front of me and I learned that there was truly no end to one because when you get closer, it gets smaller but keeps getting longer out of your periphs…blew my mind.

3. The last night there I laid out on the beach with my pillow in the beach chairs looking at the stars. I used my jacket as a blanket. With the wind there were NO mosquitoes which was the only reason I was outside. I have never seen so many stars in my life and I lost count of how many shooting stars I saw…at least 13. I ended up falling asleep in the chair until it started to rain. It was one of the best nights of my life.

God is really all around us, sometimes we just get so comfortable with our surrounding that we forget that He created it all!!

PSALM 19:1-6

¹ The heavens declare the glory of God;
   the skies proclaim the work of his hands.
² Day after day they pour forth speech;
   night after night they reveal knowledge.
³ They have no speech, they use no words;
   no sound is heard from them.
⁴ Yet their voice^[b] goes out into all the earth,
   their words to the ends of the world.
In the heavens God has pitched a tent for the sun.
 ⁵ It is like a bridegroom coming out of his chamber,
   like a champion rejoicing to run his course.
⁶ It rises at one end of the heavens
   and makes its circuit to the other;
   nothing is deprived of its warmth.

I can feel Him all around me